08 Jun - 20 jun 2015
You may be wondering why this is coming after the first post. Shouln't it have been the first post?
I will explain. After two weeks, I feel I've just woken up from an after shock/ coma!( for want of a better word).
I am being bombarded with information for the past two weeks. My mind had decided that I am in the wrong place and I may not survive this course. Only in the last two days, I have resumed meditation. Reflecting is a better word to describe what I'm doing to cope with the devastation.
I was sleep walking through my TPs. When tutors asked me simple questions, I simply stared at them and felt ashamed as my fellow students looked on, in barely concealed amusement, contempt and secretly snorted in derison( again my very limited mind concocting a deadly mix of negative self perception and damaging punishment to my ego/ super ego).
But would you believe it? Just a few sessions of meditation where I simply desisted from following any particular thought and sat absolutely still, sufficient restful breaks, and 8 hours of sleep(very important, this one), my super computer( sub conscious) is helping me in bouncing back.
Quite simply, there was too much information for my mind to process.( I had forgotten that the information to learning is a process that is the exclusive domain of the super computer within all of us, they call it the subconscious). I thought I was slow, I believed I had forgotten everything that they threw at me. My last two TPs were major disasters of epic proportions.( My mind decided that, not me, I now realize)
But the only good thing that I did, this time around, is that I refused to quit and learned not to accept what my mind told me( my wife was a major help here). Today morning I woke up at 4.30(I did not even hear the alarm I'd kept for 3.30 am). I started working on my LP. The fog is beginning to clear, is what I can say now. I am able to put my thoughts on paper. It is trickling in and I know I have to be patient and hope to see my super computer take over entire control of this learning- to- teach course that I have enrolled myself into.
My wife gave me a few tips:
-Put yourself in the shoes of the teacher and look at yourself( role play, OMG! how does she know? She told me her father taught her this method when she was struggling to sit at one place and learn)
- In between input sessions, try and note down all points, take the help of fellow learners(don't ask too many questions, be specific)
- Use your imagination to defeat the mind and its instant judgements(wife says she saw a TV program early today where the role of the mind and sub conscious was explained simply beautifully). I believe( now) that the mind is able to process only 25% of the information, when there is an information bombardment, and promptly judges that this is beyond you, so better quit( and watch TV or binge on the goodies in the fridge).
-The real learning is happening at the sub conscious level and believe your sub conscious, because it is at a much higher level when compared to the mind, and far more competent to address your needs. The mind wants and listening to the mind makes you greedy and aggressive. The subconscious addresses all your needs and much more. Only the mind can come up with petty,selfish, and self centered wants. So. leave the learning to the subconscious.
- So instead of listening to the mind, you just have to take enough breaks to rest, and then start working on your TP or LP or assignments. Remember to sleep early so that you are able to rise early.
- The mind is your servant or say a receptionist at the front office. Give it small menial taks like remembering to shave, to eat in time, get out of home in time, keeping quiet, being friendly and firm... all those small things it is capable of doing. Allow the Bigboss to take over. It will happen, in good time.
Now, I go back to my struggle which does not seem so difficult and insurmountable......(hope I am not wrong there)
You may be wondering why this is coming after the first post. Shouln't it have been the first post?
I will explain. After two weeks, I feel I've just woken up from an after shock/ coma!( for want of a better word).
I am being bombarded with information for the past two weeks. My mind had decided that I am in the wrong place and I may not survive this course. Only in the last two days, I have resumed meditation. Reflecting is a better word to describe what I'm doing to cope with the devastation.
I was sleep walking through my TPs. When tutors asked me simple questions, I simply stared at them and felt ashamed as my fellow students looked on, in barely concealed amusement, contempt and secretly snorted in derison( again my very limited mind concocting a deadly mix of negative self perception and damaging punishment to my ego/ super ego).
But would you believe it? Just a few sessions of meditation where I simply desisted from following any particular thought and sat absolutely still, sufficient restful breaks, and 8 hours of sleep(very important, this one), my super computer( sub conscious) is helping me in bouncing back.
Quite simply, there was too much information for my mind to process.( I had forgotten that the information to learning is a process that is the exclusive domain of the super computer within all of us, they call it the subconscious). I thought I was slow, I believed I had forgotten everything that they threw at me. My last two TPs were major disasters of epic proportions.( My mind decided that, not me, I now realize)
But the only good thing that I did, this time around, is that I refused to quit and learned not to accept what my mind told me( my wife was a major help here). Today morning I woke up at 4.30(I did not even hear the alarm I'd kept for 3.30 am). I started working on my LP. The fog is beginning to clear, is what I can say now. I am able to put my thoughts on paper. It is trickling in and I know I have to be patient and hope to see my super computer take over entire control of this learning- to- teach course that I have enrolled myself into.
My wife gave me a few tips:
-Put yourself in the shoes of the teacher and look at yourself( role play, OMG! how does she know? She told me her father taught her this method when she was struggling to sit at one place and learn)
- In between input sessions, try and note down all points, take the help of fellow learners(don't ask too many questions, be specific)
- Use your imagination to defeat the mind and its instant judgements(wife says she saw a TV program early today where the role of the mind and sub conscious was explained simply beautifully). I believe( now) that the mind is able to process only 25% of the information, when there is an information bombardment, and promptly judges that this is beyond you, so better quit( and watch TV or binge on the goodies in the fridge).
-The real learning is happening at the sub conscious level and believe your sub conscious, because it is at a much higher level when compared to the mind, and far more competent to address your needs. The mind wants and listening to the mind makes you greedy and aggressive. The subconscious addresses all your needs and much more. Only the mind can come up with petty,selfish, and self centered wants. So. leave the learning to the subconscious.
- So instead of listening to the mind, you just have to take enough breaks to rest, and then start working on your TP or LP or assignments. Remember to sleep early so that you are able to rise early.
- The mind is your servant or say a receptionist at the front office. Give it small menial taks like remembering to shave, to eat in time, get out of home in time, keeping quiet, being friendly and firm... all those small things it is capable of doing. Allow the Bigboss to take over. It will happen, in good time.
Now, I go back to my struggle which does not seem so difficult and insurmountable......(hope I am not wrong there)
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